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Managing Digestive Disorders
How To Cope If Gay Marriage Is Legal In Your Area, But Your Partner Still Doesn't Want To Marry
Louella Davidson
Were you elated when officials in your area finally legalized gay marriage? Did you expect that you and your long-time partner were finally going to tie the knot? But, now, months have passed by, and you're slowly coming to the realization that your partner seems to have no intentions of getting hitched. Now you're not sure what to do and you're beginning to feel rejected and depressed. If so, it may be time to have an in-depth conversation with your partner, and you may also want to schedule an appointment with a relationship counselor.
Talk with Your Partner
Your partner's reluctance to get married may seem like a rejection of you, but it's possible that there are other reasons for your partner's lack of commitment that may have little to do with you personally. For example, your partner may not want to get married because:
- They have a personal family background that has made them leery of making a legal commitment. Perhaps your lover's parents went through a traumatic divorce that has left them feeling hostile towards the institution of marriage. If so, you and your partner may need to speak with a relationship counselor, who could help your lover come to terms with the issues of their traumatic past.
- Some people just don't believe in making their union legal. They are fine with making a long-term commitment, but don't believe they need papers to legitimize their relationship. The truth is that marriage among heterosexuals has also fallen over the years, so it shouldn't be surprising that there are also homosexuals who don't want to marry.
- They are committed to not marrying until it is legal for everyone in the United States to say, "I do."
Because there are so many different reasons why your lover may not want to get married, it is important to discuss with your partner the specific reasons why they aren't interested in tying the knot so that you can understand what is going through their mind.
Speak with a Relationship Counselor
If you really want to get married, but your partner does not, it's important that you seek relationship counseling (from professionals such as Sharon O'Connell, MA). A counselor could either help you deal with the fact that you may never get that special wedding you've always dreamed of or help your partner discover the roots of their reluctance to get married. The last thing you should do is nothing. In the long run, your relationship will suffer as you resentment towards your partner continues to grow.
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